I live in a conservative/unfunny town, so this type of thing is almost unheard of
I don’t know how the fuck this works.
one guacamole is equal to 6.0221415×10²³ guacas
I’m disgusted by my ability to get this joke
one might even call it
I need to kiss you so badly. One of those kisses where I’m pressing against you as much as possible and my hands are in your hair and moving down your back, clutching to you in any way I can, kissing you as deeply as possible and thinking you’re mine, mine mine.
Say you’re happy now, once more with feeling.
I went on a walk with my boyfriend today.
The delays going into Oxford are brutal.
do you ever get that horrible feeling in your stomach because you can’t imagine anyone ever falling in love with you and wanting to spend the rest of their life with you
i just want to take you on cute dates then fuck you in the back of my car
What’s the definition of a will?
Come on guys it’s a dead giveaway
You’re born with a ton of fucks to give, so you spend them like a kid with a credit card. You give fucks about your friends, about your grades, about your fashion sense, about strangers’ opinions. You give way too many fucks about way too many things. You have so many. Then, as you get older, you have maybe 10 fucks per month, so you learn to budget them. You allocate fucks to family and career, but there aren’t enough fucks to give to the newest fads. Oh, someone at work has something they need my help with that’s outside my job title? I’ll do my best to allocate some fucks, but this month is pretty tight. Then, as you get even older, you’re down to 1-2 fucks per month, and those fucks are pretty damn precious. You give them to your family and your hobbies and your job, and that’s kinda it. It’s not your fault – fucks expire too quickly. I would’ve liked to save my fucks from when I was younger but I can’t. Then, you hit fuck insolvency. You’re getting like 1 fuck a year, and you have to make it last. So you go without, and even previously fuck-worthy things, you just can’t give a fuck. Some people run out really quickly, Some people have a fuck trust fund that pays out a decent amount even into old age. But at some point, the fuck faucet runs completely dry and you’re out of fucks to give. It’s just basic Fuckonomics.